Monday, December 26, 2011

My Cry

Oh Lord, how desperately I need you. I am so weak without you. I am so broken. I feel lame. I feel so incapable. I am so tired, God. I am tired of this sickness, I am tired of this pain. I have had it with this depression and lack of motivation. I want to be how I used to be! I want to laugh, I want to run, I want to learn, I want to climb trees and eat any fresh healthy foods that I want to. I long to serve you, serve others, and teach. I want to be active. I want to be loving. I want to be full of the things that you are full of, God. I feel so unable. I feel like this sickness is holding me back from you, God. But that is simply not true!
The truth is, I am able. I can be full of all things that you are full of. With the holy spirit, I can be loving and I can be active. The truth is this: Your strength, God, is made PERFECT in my weakness. This means that right now even in the midst of my sickness, you can make me strong. And not only can you make me strong Lord, but because I am so weak and so broken, I am at my strongest because of you. I think this is true, but it just seems so distant at times. I know that is because my heart is distant from your's, Lord. I'm so sorry. I want to be where you are, God. I want to be in your plan, in your will for my life. God, all I want to do is bring you glory, but I feel like all I am doing is failing. I am so sorry. Please help me God. Please, I cant do this alone. I'm sorry for my pride, selfishness, and lack of faith. I want to be with you all the time. Holy Spirit, hear my cry. I need you more than I need water. Please fill me. Fill my soul with joy, love, patience, and self control. Forgive me for my worldliness. I do not desire to be of this world.
I don't know how long I'm going to be sick. I don't know if this diet will work. I don't know what your plan is Lord, but please give me wisdom as to how to get through this. I am so tired. Please fill me up.  .

No comments:

Post a Comment